These are questions I often get asked about my work
I do help people experiencing lots of different types of loss. There are many types of loss that will cause us to experience grief and I use the Grief Recovery Method to help people. The obvious losses are relationship breakdown, loss of a pet, redundancy, family estrangements and there are other not so obvious losses to consider such as loss of health, loss of faith, loss of trust. Having an ’empty nest’ when the children leave home. A lot of the time we don’t realise that these things can cause us to experience grief so sometimes we try and push the feelings away and get on with life. Then if we haven’t worked our way through the emotions they start to accumulate and can really affect our ability to be happy.
Grief is the reaction we have when we have experienced a loss. This might have been a bereavement, relationship breakdown, death of a pet – there are over 40 losses that we can encounter during a lifetime! Grief can feel overwhelmingly painful and you may feel shock, anger, bitterness, guilt and sadness. You may also feel relief if someone has been ill for a long time, for example. It is also possible to experience physical symptoms like inability to sleep or eat and sometimes pain in the body. The saying ‘time is a great healer’ is misleading and can keep you stuck in your grief while you wait to feel better. Quite often we have unfinished business around our loss and this is when coaching can be really helpful. I use a programme called the Grief Recovery Method which helps clients work through their grief so that they can move beyond the pain of their loss.
It’s never too soon and it’s never too late for someone to seek support following a loss. Everyone is unique in the way they cope with grief and each person will be ready to reach out in their own time. Unresolved grief can really impact our ability to enjoy life. I have worked with many clients who have carried grief around with them for years without realising it and found great relief in doing the work.
we all experience grief in our own unique and individual way so everyone is different. A lot of people have expectations around how long they should be grieving but as I said in an earlier question waiting for time to make us feel better can actually keep us stuck in our grief. It’s more about taking actions that will help us work through our grief which will make the difference
I’d worked in the NHS for many years and during this time worked for Cruse as a bereavement support worker. I got to a time in my life when I had experienced a number of personal losses. During my search for ways to help myself I trained to be a life coach and then became a certified grief recovery specialist
No I am not a counsellor. I am a Certified Life Coach and I use a psycho-educational programme called the Grief Recovery Method to help clients work through their grief. To be able to do this I am also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. It is a structured programme over a course of 7 sessions and once you have learnt how to use, it is a tool for life
I run one to one sessions and also group work. I also run a group for adults Helping Children With Loss which gives teachers, parents and professionals practical tools for supporting a young person through difficult times and bereavement.
You can make an appointment to see me in person but I also do online sessions so you don’t even need to leave home to get help
When I become a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist part of the training was to be taken through the Grief Recovery Method myself. I therefore learnt how to work through any of my own grief that was still weighing me down. Because I did this I don’t have any unresolved grief of my own that could be triggered by working with a bereaved person so this keeps me safe. I also try to eat well mostly, try to get enough sleep, drink lots of water and take my dog for a walk everyday. I take time to do things that I enjoy too. All of this helps.