Why Lockdown May Have Made Your Breakup More Painful

Why Lockdown Might Have Made Your Breakup More Painful

Relationship breakdown is painful at the best of times but for those who have found themselves with a broken heart during lockdown, they may have found it harder to cope than they would have if things were normal.

Some weeks into lockdown I received a call from a client.  Their partner had just told them that they felt their relationship was over and they were going to move out.  My client was devastated and truly shocked.  While they had felt their relationship had become mundane, they really hadn’t realised it was in such trouble.  There had been no arguments and worse still, they really couldn’t understand why it had come to this.  It had come as a bolt out of the blue.

Due to lockdown my client was finding the break-up particularly difficult to deal with.  This wasn’t the first breakup that had happened to them and in the past meeting up with friends, going out for drinks, enjoying a trip to the cinema and other social activities had helped them to cope.  This time there was nothing to distract them from the feelings of heartbreak and they felt they were really struggling.  Their partner had left the house and they were feeling isolated and alone with their heartbreak.

When I first started working with this client, they were having difficulty sleeping, feeling physical symptoms in their body and found it extremely hard to concentrate.  They said they felt as though the bottom had dropped out of their world and they were struggling to imagine a time when they could feel anywhere near normal.  In addition to the heartbreak they were also trying to cope with the added stress and anxiety caused by being furloughed from their job.

It’s easy to see from this client’s story why lockdown could well make heartbreak from a failed relationship feel even more intense than it might have done. 

Many solicitors are predicting a rise in divorce following lockdown.  For some couples they have been unhappy with their relationship for some time.  The pressure of being together 24/7 during lockdown plus the added stress and anxiety caused by job losses, being furloughed and having to provide childcare and education has strained relationships to breaking point.

For others lockdown has caused them to think deeply about their future and what they want leading them to bring relationships to an end. 

If your relationship has broken down and you’re struggling, try the following tips

  • Acknowledge how you feel about the breakup. Try not to judge these feelings just notice them.  Sometimes naming the feelings can help stop them become overwhelming, for example, this is sadness, this is anger etc
  • When you’re feeling hurt and vulnerable it’s easy to start predicting a negative future. If this is you, try bringing yourself back to the present moment.  Go and look out at nature.  Take some deep breaths
  • Even though social activities have been limited, things are easing now. Reach out to those friends and family that you know you can talk to
  • If you don’t have family and friends, there are many organisations out there who are providing telephone and other support. Don’t be afraid to check these out.  You can also follow my Facebook Page where I regularly post hints and tips on coping with heartbreak https://www.facebook.com/geraldinemacegriefandrelationships/

For more information about anything in this blog or even if you just want a quick chat send me an email at info@gerimace.com



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